As regular readers will know I have a love-hate relationship with recruitment consultants but mostly I love them for the slightly befuddled little muppets they are. Most mean well and try hard to do a job that I wouldn’t touch with a ten foot pole. But sometimes you get one who’s just unbelievable.

I won’t give his name or the name of the company he works for but they don’t seem very professional (they use .org.uk domain name for a business, and their web site proudly displays the “well done you’ve set up your web space” message) and the following exchange really says it all.

He called me on Friday when I was out of town at my grandfather’s funeral. He left a message on the answer phone but, and he does actually get some credit for this, actually listened to the outgoing message including the bit where I ask people to e-mail me. Hence this first e-mail:

Steve could you contact me regarding and excellent web developer / designer role I have on.

I picked this up on Friday evening via webmail and responded:

Sounds interesting, though I am solely a developer and not at all a designer. I’m away from home at the moment attending a family fruneral, so if you need to speak to me on the phone then I’m afraid I’m not available until Monday afternoon, but you can call me then on 020 8XXX XXXX. But feel free to send any details or questions you may have to this e-mail address and I’ll let you know what I think.

Note that I clearly say that I’m available on Monday afternoon.

He calls on Monday morning when I’m out (meeting with a very friendly and organised recruitment consultant), Lettice takes the call and tells him that I’ll be back in the afternoon.

I’m in all afternoon, from twelve noon to quarter past six. No call. I then go out to the pub for an investment club meeting. He calls sometime between then and when Lettice gets home at just before ten o’clock. This guy had been told twice to call in the afternoon and he hadn’t bothered even once in that six hour window.

Why hadn’t I called him? Because he hadn’t done anything to make it worth the cost of a national rate phone call. He hadn’t given me any details of the job (and as he had described it as a slash designer position it probably wasn’t right for me anyway), I’d already spent a fair chunk of my day talking to recruitment consultants and I had paying work to be getting on with. “Please call me, I have something that might interest you” is simply spam, and not very good spam at that.

Now I had been in the pub so this may have been a bit strong, but:

I said I would be in to speak to you on Monday afternoon. You called
once in the morning and once in the evening. Do you have something worth discussing with me or are you just playing silly buggers?

Yeah Steve I did have something worth speaking to you about but since you
cant even return a message, pick up a phone or communicate in a normal way I don’t fancy your chances much of getting through any interview stage let alone the one I had for you.

Oh, so he wants to play? šŸ‘æ

This from the man who can’t even understand the what the word “afternoon” means? Never mind.

I have 4 other guys in for that position all better than you.

they wanted 5 for a interview day.

hence why I wanted you.

Even if I had been hasty or overly forthright with my previous messages, we now see this guy’s true colours. He had other candidates who were better than me? He just wanted a fifth to make up the numbers?

Sounds like you only wanted some poor schmuck to round out your numbers. Sounds like I had a lucky escape then. Thank you for being honest with me at the end.

I have recruitment consultants phoning and e-mailling me daily; I’ve been using recruitment consultants, as both candidate and employer, for ten years; I have to sort the wheat from the chaff just the same as you have to with candidates. Those that make the effort to fit in around their candidates’ and clients’ schedules, who are honest and open up front, and who make an effort to match candidates and positions correctly, they make the grade, those that don’t, don’t.

But if you actually want to play fair, just send the job details so I can review them and judge whether I’m suitable. Or call me at the times I said I would be available to speak. In fact I’m going to be working from home all day today so you can call any time you like.

No response. But I have had another consultant contact me with a very nice sounding role. You win some, you lose some. šŸ™‚

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